Weekly Ops Report — Special Post-Cyber-Monday Edition

At TeamSnap, we have a little different style to the way we do things. You may have noticed that TeamSnap experienced a few outages Dec. 1 and 2. Here’s the way Systems Operations Lead Mark Cornick chose to recap the situation to the rest of the team.

Our always handy Ops Team is pictured here – (from left) Mark Cornick, Jasna Benčić, Tim “Sweetums” Soderstrom and Geoff Brodniak.

FADE IN: 

INT. NETWORK OPERATIONS CENTER - DAY

Operations staff: the EXECUTIVE OFFICER, a former submariner with exotic
hair; the LIEUTENANT DATABASE GRADE, a bespectacled man; and the CHIEF
NON-COMMISSIONED OFFICER, an Eastern European woman, are seated at their
desks. Large displays show what appears to be a healthy network. The
COMMANDER, a large, bearded gentleman, enters.

                              COMMANDER
             Good morning crew. Status reports, please.

The CHIEF N.C.O. stands to deliver her report.

                              CHIEF N.C.O.
Mostly small requests from throughout the organization, Commander. Also
      taking this opportunity to learn the Sinatra framework.

                              COMMANDER
                         Thank you, Chief. XO?

The EXECUTIVE OFFICER turns from observing the status displays to
address the COMMANDER.

                          EXECUTIVE OFFICER
A short and quiet week. The Thumper system is now running on our
playroom environment. We've also adjusted the McFeely and Dozer
                              processes.

                              COMMANDER
                  Excellent. Where do we stand on the--

A loud siren blares. Status displays turn red. A robotic voice announces
a malfunction.

                           ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.)
             Major outage detected. Major outage detected.

                              COMMANDER
                              (urgently)
Action stations! Action stations! Set condition one throughout the
                              company.

The COMMANDER moves to an impressive-looking chair. The CHIEF N.C.O.
returns to her desk. The EXECUTIVE OFFICER and LIEUTENANT, still at
their desks, turn to face the status displays.

                              COMMANDER
                         Lieutenant, sitrep!

                              LIEUTENANT
Appears to be a Distributed Denial of Service attack against our allies
     at DNSCorp, sir. Recommend we execute contingency plan D-R-S.

                              COMMANDER
Are we prepared to move forward with D-R-S? Last report was that the
        service was provisioned but data was not yet populated.

                              CHIEF N.C.O.
             Correct. D-R-S contains no data, Commander.

                          EXECUTIVE OFFICER
And with DNSCorp out of commission, we can't retrieve our complete data
    set. We could assemble a provisional data set from other sources.

                              COMMANDER
                                  OK.
                            (frenetically)
                          We'll do it live!

The COMMANDER picks up a microphone and addresses the entire
organization:

                              COMMANDER
This is the commander. We are experiencing collateral damage from an
attack on one of our technology partners. The operations team will now
execute a contingency plan. Further information will follow. Out.

The COMMANDER, CHIEF N.C.O., EXECUTIVE OFFICER and LIEUTENANT all type
madly at keyboards, assembling a set of data.

                              COMMANDER
                  Are we ready to proceed with D-R-S?

                              LIEUTENANT
     We're ready, sir. Provisional data set is assembled and loaded.

                             CHIEF N.C.O.
                          Systems are ready.

                          EXECUTIVE OFFICER
                     We will proceed on your mark.

                              COMMANDER
                           (dramatically)
                    Execute contingency plan D-R-S.

All press various keys on their keyboards. Within a few minutes, the
status displays start to turn from red to orange. The SUPPORT CAPTAIN, a
woman wearing official uniform pajamas, enters.

                           SUPPORT CAPTAIN
                    What's the situation, Commander?

                              COMMANDER
We have executed our contingency plan, Captain. We expect to be back in
full operation within a few hours. Please monitor from your perspective
and report back with problems.

                           SUPPORT CAPTAIN
                   Excellent. Thank you. As you were!

The SUPPORT CAPTAIN exits.

                              COMMANDER
Where were we... Lietuenant, status report from the database project?


                              LIEUTENANT
Status good. Database server RDB-1 has taken over and we have
deprovisioned server MDB-2. And the Virtual Private Network is
now running with X-509 certificates.

                              COMMANDER
          Outstanding. Great work, team. Now let's move on to--

The ROBOTIC VOICE pipes up again.

                           ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.)
             Major outage detected. Major outage detected.

The COMMANDER sighs.

FADE OUT